At Home

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Teleportation Considerations

Experience Music Project, Seattle, 2014

Experience Music Project, Seattle, 2014

The drive home from Seattle is about six hours. It's just long enough to have that one fidgety spot. When we approach that spot, I start hearing wishes for teleportation from the backseat.

"Just imagine.... We could be home already."

"We could transport ourselves to the pyramids for a weekend."

"We could catch March Madness games in different arenas. On the same day."

Usually I join the "we could" game, but this week I started thinking about the whole country zinging back and forth for March Madness games. We'd need bigger arenas. And the idea of needing bigger arenas led me to ask a lot of questions of my teenage-travelers-turned-quantum-scientists. We ended up talking quite a bit about the societal adjustments that follow an advance in technology, e.g. not wearing Google Glass in public restrooms.

So, out of the mouths of babes, here is a beginning list of considerations about teleportation:

Practical Concerns about Teleporting

  • Would travelers experience jet lag?
  • How many people could simultaneously teleport from a single location to a single destination?
  • What happens when everyone wants to go to a warm location at the same time in the winter? Or concerts or sporting events? Will traffic control be required?
  • How would luggage work? Clothes? Jewelry? Prosthetics?
  • What about hackers and glitches? Would teleportation make it easier to be a cat burglar? What if we teleported into a brick wall?
  • Would GIS engineers need to develop more sophisticated three-dimensional coordinate maps to account for multi-story buildings?

Societal and Legal Concerns about Teleporting

  • We would need rules about not teleporting into homes without the owner's permission. We talked about having an accept process for incoming travelers, similar to what we do now for Bluetooth files and collect phone calls.
  • No teleporting into bathrooms. (This seemed to be an important one for teenage boys. I, on the other hand, thought it would be lovely to teleport to an underutilized bathroom. They've never stood in the girls' line at a stadium.)
  • Would there be a data log of where we transported? How long would it be stored? Who could access the log?
  • How would this change war? If a country could teleport its entire army across the globe in the blink of an eye, that changes things, right?
  • Would passports be sufficient enough for international teleportation travelers?
  • As the technology moves from a station-based teleportation (think airport and air traffic control) to individual devices/portals, what new concerns are discovered?

We only have questions. No answers.


Just so I don't leave anyone thinking this is a super-serious group of boys, watch this clip that is a perhaps more honest representation of the drive. Somebody invent that teleporter, please.